- “ Ladies and Gentlemen! All the way from the Solana Galaxy, the greatest criminal mastermind/blogger ever to exist! Stuart Zurgo! (Zurgo, Zurgo, Zurgo…) ”
- ―Stuart Zurgo confronting the QForce in person for the first time. [FFA]
Stuart Zurgo, also referred to as the Qwark Fanboy and originally known to have used the alias Sergeant Zurgo, was a nerdish HoloNet blogger and former Qwark fanboy. Obsessed about Qwark, his love of Captain Qwark soon morphed into maniacal hatred after he let him down throughout his youth, to the point he plotted to kill his former idol. However, the Q-force managed to defeat Stuart Zurgo and serves a punishment worse than Zordoom prison, 50 years of house arrest with his mother.
- “ Stuart Zurgo? He used to be the captain of Captain Qwark Cadet Club. You wrote some really disturbing fan fiction. Ehhh! ”
- ―Qwark [FFA]
At some point in his life, he became obsessed with galactic superhero Captain Qwark, a native to the Solana Galaxy. His love of Qwark later prompted him to join the Captain Qwark Cadet Club, and eventually become the club's captain. At the same time, he also wrote several fan fictions, including the The Adventures of Captain Qwark and Sergeant Zurgo. Captain Qwark was known to have read several of Zurgo's fan fictions, which he claimed were quite disturbing. Zurgo also built a large mech at around this time, equipped with a Raritanium hull that could withstand a Class Three Meteor Shower, a Gadgetron Energy Shield, Omegatech Fission Blaster, a special blaster that shot a shield bubble and an emergency escape pod.
At a later point, Stuart Zurgo learned that Captain Qwark been shamed by Ratchet and Clank following Qwark's actions to be the spokesmen for the new Blargian planet that was being constructed by Drek. Zurgo vowed to smite the Lombax whenever he was given the chance, which he suspected would eventually occur in the future.
"Battle" with Ratchet
- “ Ratchet of Veldin…, I knew this day would come! Draw your last breath enemy of mine, for I smite you in the name of Qwark! <Crash!> Sweet death, at last we meet! Nobly, I fall in the field of battle… Finish me, Lombax! ”
During that fateful day, Stuart Zurgo was playing around a wooden stand he made near the main section of the MegaCorp Armory. Zurgo pretended to be Captain Qwark, "scanning" a "super electro gadget", which was really an Armor Magnetizer, with a toy hammer known as the Hammer of Power.
While still playing, he happened to notice Ratchet and Clank approaching him. Zurgo was shocked beyond belief, but he quickly regained his composure, as he had been waiting for this moment for quite some time. Coldly, he announced to "Ratchet of Veldin" that he'd been waiting for the Lombax for quite some time, and warned Ratchet that he would smite him in battle in the name of Captain Qwark. With that, he lunged toward Ratchet with his Hammer of Power, but Ratchet easily sidestepped the surprise attack, causing Zurgo to crash into the ground several feet behind the heroic duo. Believing he was about die, he dramatically began to prepare to die "honorably" on the "battlefield" and screamed at Ratchet to finish him off.
Zurgo was surprised to discover that Ratchet showed no interest in "finishing" him off, and Ratchet told Clank they should be on their way, seeing Zurgo merely as an annoying brat. Zurgo immediately picked himself off the ground, and insisted they come back. He informed the duo that Ratchet had shamed the greatest superhero who ever lived, and Ratchet owed him something for it. A much annoyed Clank asked what sort of favor did Ratchet owe, causing Zurgo to ponder for a moment. Zurgo realized he wanted some sort of Qwark memorabilia from the Solana Galaxy, even offering to trade his Armor Magnetizer for such a good. Ratchet and Clank showed an interest in such a device, and they left Zurgo, preparing to continue their mission while at the same time keeping a lookout for such Qwark memorabilia so that they could trade it for the Armor Magnetizer.
The Trade and Behind the Hero
- “ Was he the victim of an overzealous fan? ”
- ―The Qwark Announcer tossing out a theory that Stuart Zurgo or someone similar was responsible for Captain Qwark's current unknown fate. [GC]
Later on, Ratchet and Clank returned to Stuart Zurgo, handing him a Captain Qwark action figure they had bought from The Plumber, who obtained it from the toilet system of the Thugs-4-Less Prison. Enthralled with this action figure, he promptly kissed it (unaware it was flushed down the toilet), and threw Ratchet the Armor Magnetizer to Ratchet for his work. He later left the area, fearing the planet's humidity would soon begin to degrade his prize.
An image of Zurgo later appeared in a clip of Behind the Hero, where the host suggested that the missing Captain Qwark might have become the victim of an overzealous fan, such as Zurgo or someone similar.
- While not shown in Going Commando, these events mentioned in Full Frontal Assault happened during the game.
While the Protopet swarms were wreaking havoc in the Bogon Galaxy, Zurgo traveled to the Solana Galaxy to attend a Captain Qwark convention in Metropolis on planet Kerwan in the hopes of meeting his idol in person.
Zurgo waited for three days at the convention, only to later learn that Captain Qwark was arrested and forced to test MegaCorp products for kidnapping and impersonating MegaCorp CEO Abercrombie Fizzwidget. His faith in Qwark was shaken by these events, but he still saw Qwark as hero.
Up Your Arsenal
In the year 5356, Stuart Zurgo moved to the Solana Galaxy attended the Secret Agent Clank movie premiere in the Solana Galaxy, where he was seated a mere seats away from Ratchet, Clank, and most importantly, Captain Qwark.
Between Going Commando and Full Frontal Assault
- “ …I watched as you were involved in scandal after scandal! And every time the galaxy just forgave you! ”
- ―Stuart Zurgo [FFA]
As time went on, scandal after scandal, shoddy Qwark merchandise (such as Captain Qwark Fun Time Razor Blade Ki], which gave him Chickenpox) and continued letdowns by his idol drove Stuart Zurgo to hate Qwark. Zurgo realized that his naive idolization of Captain Qwark had blinded him, but the continued scandals showed him Captain Qwark failed to meet even the basics of what Captain Qwark was supposed to be. Not only had he lost faith in Qwark, but he believed there were no real heroes, as he believed they all had angles they were playing. He eventually discovered his evil side, finding it quite enjoying over time. He also grew angry that Captain Qwark would always be forgiven by citizens across the universe for whatever he did wrong, and felt Qwark never got what was really coming to him. With that, Zurgo decided he would teach a Qwark lesson, and he planned to ruin Qwark's image for good once and for all.
His plans began to form over time, as he and his family moved to Solana Galaxy, and then to the Polaris Galaxy, where they moved into a house on planet Ebaro. Zurgo eventually devised a cunning plan to exact his revenge on Captain Qwark, who currently serving aboard the Starship Phoenix II with Ratchet and Clank. Zurgo had learned the Defense Network for the Polaris Galaxy had a Galactic Weather Grid, which allowed the system to change a planet's weather on command by using the planet's Planetary Defense Center. The Galactic Weather Grid had been installed by Hall of Knowledge brainiacs under Captain Qwark's directive (who had been the Galactic President of Polaris Galaxy previously before he lost a recent election), who wanted the system installed so planets he visited during his presidential trips would always be sunny. Zurgo decided he would use this system to throw the entire galaxy into chaos, and he planned to make Qwark look guilty of this crime by utilizing a holographic device and pretending to be Qwark. He would then kill the real Qwark with his Qwark Mech at his secret hideout (which was rigged with stolen Thugs-4-Less Pyrocidic Charges obtained from the Thugs-4-Less Outpost to blow his base to smithereens if Qwark somehow destroyed his mech), and become a "hero" for stopping Captain Qwark's terrorism. Zurgo's hacking skills weren't good enough to access the Galactic Weather Grid directly though, plus he needed the Access Key for the Weather Grid in the first place, which Captain Qwark carried aboard the Starship Phoenix II. Zurgo would therefore hack three Planetary Defense Centers and shut them down, and hire Grungarians to attack the three defenseless planets. While Qwark, Ratchet and Clank attempted to reactivate the system, believing the villain had complete control of Defense Network, they would inadvertently aid Zurgo in uploading a worm that would give him complete control of the Galactic Weather Grid. At the same time, Zurgo disguised as The Plumber would search the Starship Phoenix II for the Access Key while Qwark, Ratchet and Clank were busy fighting Grungarian Marauders, giving him utter control of Galactic Weather Grid.
Full Frontal Assault
The Sadistic Plan Begins
Eventually, the framework of his plan had been completed; all he needed to do was get Qwark, Ratchet and Clank's attention. After sneaking aboard the Starship Phoenix II one fateful Wednesday disguised as The Plumber, he hid himself somewhere in the vessel and sent an encrypted transmission to the ship's computer. Soon all three heroes were at the ship's bridge, just as the encrypted message was decrypted. Zurgo appeared before the three heroes in a hologram, though none were aware of his true identity since he was wearing a face mask.
Zurgo coldly greeted Captain Qwark, informing him that this was going to be the longest day of his pathetic life. Much to his annoyance, Qwark did not at all seem frightened or angered by the threat, instead Qwark was thrilled that a shadowy supervillain had finally appeared, allowing him to finally "shoot something." Qwark then began to rant about what were the motives of this villain before explaining to Ratchet and Clank how much he prayed for such a disaster to occur, completing forgetting about Zurgo. Zurgo attempted to shift attention back towards himself, but they continued to listen to Qwark rant on and on. Eventually Zurgo lost his cool and pulled out an airhorn and sent forth a loud honk from the device. This quickly grabbed the attention of the three heroes, who returned their attention back to Zurgo. Zurgo then continued where he had left off, informing the three heroes that he had deactivated three Planetary Defense Centers across the sector they were currently residing in, leaving planet Markazia, Ebaro and Proteus VII completely defenseless and throwing the entire sector into total chaos. Zurgo then noted that Grungarian Marauders had already begun attacking these planets, rhetorically asking who could've called, clearly hinting the shadowy supervillain had. His sarcastic remark was lost by Qwark, who asked aloud whether he had called the Grungarians. Zurgo promptly snapped at Captain Qwark, stating he had called them, and adding that Qwark was dolt. He then continued his speech, informing the three heroes that only they were allowed to stop him, warning them that if even one Polaris Defense Trooper got involved, he would promptly deactivate all the Planetary Defense Centers in the Polaris Galaxy. After Zurgo had finished his speech, Ratchet asked for the supervillain's true identity. Zurgo did not reveal his identity, but mentioned he was someone who didn't like Captain Qwark, mentioning he had failed him. With that, Zurgo terminated the transmission, causing Captain Qwark to restart the Q-Force to end the Grungarian threat. While the Q-Force headed to Markazia reactivate the planet's defense center and drive off the Gungarian horde, Zurgo searched the Starship Phoenix II for the Access Key for the Galactic Weather Grid. Zurgo also began to hack the Starship Phoenix II as well.
Formal Introduction to the Q-Force
- “ You're nothing but one big epic fail, and this time, you're going to pay. Colon, close-parenthesis. I'm out! ”
- ―Stuart Zurgo [FFA]
After the Q-Force reactivated Markazia's Planetary Defense Center, Zurgo sent a Hologram Drone toward the planet in order to formally introduce himself to Q-Force, who were currently at Korgon Refinery.
Still wearing his mask, Zurgo mocked Qwark's "pathetic" Q-Force, amazed that anyone would join in the first place as the result of his treachery in the past. Ratchet admitted Qwark had his flaws and hid behind a mask, but argued Qwark wasn't afraid of the universe knowing who he was, clearly implying Zurgo was coward. Scornfully dismissing this theory, Zurgo informed the Q-Force he wasn't afraid, and promptly took off his mask to reveal his true identity. Ratchet soon remembered Zurgo from their previous encounter years ago on planet Todano. Qwark jumped in the revelation of his true name to Ratchet and Clank, who were unaware of his real name and relevance to Qwark. Qwark remarked to his fellow Q-Force allies that Stuart Zurgo was formerly the captain of the Qwark Cadet's Club. He then turned his attention Stuart Zurgo, remarking that he found many of Zurgo's fan fictions to be quite disturbing. Zurgo dismissed his earlier self, insisting he was too naive back then to see Qwark for who he really was. With much anger, he stated to Qwark that all he wanted to do was to be just like him, alas, Zurgo informed Qwark that he had come to hate him for all the scandals he was involved. Zurgo then ranted to the Q-Force that despite Qwark's continued failures, people would continually forgive him nevertheless. Zurgo then proclaimed to the Q-Force that Qwark was nothing but an "epic fail," and that this time, he would make sure Qwark paid for his actions once and for all. With that, Zurgo piloted his Hologram Drone off planet Markazia.
The Q-Force later reactivated the Planetary Defense Center in the Hidden City of Balkai on planet Ebaro, while Zurgo disguised as The Plumber continued to look for the access and hack the Starship Phoenix II.
While the Q-Force reactivated the Planetary Defense in the GrummelNet Plasma Harvester on Proteus VII, Zurgo taunted the Q-Force by hacking the GrummelNet Plasma Harvesters, occasionally disappearing briefly to troll people on the Holonet.
The Sadistic Plot is Revealed
- “ Oh, hello n00bs! ”
- ―Stuart Zurgo [FFA]
While the Q-Force finished activating the last Planetary Defense Center, Zurgo finished uploading a worm into the Defense Network, hacking the Starship Phoenix II and finding Qwark's Access Key for the Galactic Weather Grid. As expected, the Q-Force eventually learned The Plumber was never aboard the Starship Phoenix II, and they quickly rushed back toward the ship. When they arrived, Zurgo greeted the "n00bs" via a hologram disguise of The Plumber, before revealing his true identity. The boastful Zurgo exclaimed he was greatest supervillain the universe had ever known, and asking whether or not their minds were blown from the revelation that he had been aboard their ship the entire time. Clank correctly deduced that Zurgo had devised the invasions to get the Q-Force off their ship, and demanded Zurgo's intentions revealed. Zurgo revealed to the Q-Force that he been looking for "moron's" Access Key for the Galactic Weather Grid. Zurgo then gleefully informed the Q-Force that they aided him in rebooting the Planetary Defense Centers, allowing him to upload a worm into the Defense Network that allowed him complete control of the Galactic Weather Grid. He sarcastically thank the "losers" for their efforts in bringing about his plans. Zurgo then added it was time for one more "juicy" bit of deception, and Zurgo immediately erected a hologram disguise of Captain Qwark. The newly disguised Zurgo pulled out a cell phone and dialed the Polaris Defense Force. After an awkward wait, an automated message played asking what kind of emergency was required; greatly annoyed at the long wait, Zurgo eventually was able to hit the pound key, finally allowing him to leave a message to the Polaris Defense Force. The disguised Zurgo addressed himself as Captain Qwark to the automated message system, stating he was using the Galactic Weather Grid to throw the Polaris Galaxy into chaos because he was a "pompous, narcissistic, blowhard." He warned that he wouldn't surrender, and the only way they could stop him was to kill him. Zurgo then hung up and deactivated his hologuise, revealing his true form again to the Q-Force. He chuckled in delight at what he had done and also informed the Q-Force he had also hacked their ship and hoped they enjoyed the carnage he was about to inflict upon the galaxy. He then deactivated his hologram but continued to taunt them via loudspeaker, informing the heroes he brought Grubsnuckers aboard the ship to damage equipment and made the ship continuously play the infamous song "I Am Glad, 'Cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home", often referred to as "Trololo," to annoy the heroes.
Ending the Ice Age and the Hunt for Zurgo
Eventually, the Q-Force traveled to planet Ebaro, in order to deactivate the corrupted Planetary Defense Center that had rendered the planet an icicle.
The QForce eventually restored the Weather Defense Grid, attacked Zurgo's base and discovered his intentions. His base had been known as the Lair of Doom. They then fought against Zurgo in his Qwark Mech, of which he built during the time of his obsession with Qwark. The Q-Force managed to exhibit enough out of their weaponry to cause his mech to malfunction, ejecting him into the air.
Fallen, accepting defeat, Zurgo expresses his hatred for Qwark one last time, but he still admitted to having trouble understanding the answer behind why Qwark always seems to win even through all the chaos he's caused. Qwark intelligently insulted him, saying it takes motivation to achieve your goals and the will to move on from "your mother's basement." He then knocked him out by slamming his face. The Q-Force, with Zurgo defeated and the Planetary Defense Centers secure, proceed to leave Zurgo's lair with Qwark holding Zurgo over his shoulder, prepared to bring him into custody. However, as Qwark yelled his final "victory scream" before the Q-Force leave with Ratchet and Clank, he jumps in the air and accidentally loses grip of Zurgo. Zurgo falls off his lair's conveyor belt, screaming as he plummets to the abyss of his lair, gaining some cracked ribs and other body damages, he was collected by the authorities, ending the threat of further attacks on the galaxy from the Grungarian mercenaries.
Into the Nexus
- “ Stuart Zurgo was a self proclaimed "criminal mastermind" who set out to frame Qwark. His capture resulted in an unfortunate fall from an elevated bridge. He suffered three broken ribs, a broken leg, a fractured collar bone, and severe damage to this pride. He now suffers a fate worse then Zordoom Prison - 50 years house arrest with his mother Lucille. ”
- ―Docent 427 [ItN]
Following his capture by the Q-Force, Stuart Zurgo was sentenced to 50 years of house arrest with his mother, Lucille Zurgo, a fate that was apparently considered much worse than imprisonment in the Zordoom Prison. His actions would earn him a statue in the Hall Of Villainy.
Copernicus Leslie Qwark
- “ You shamed the greatest superhero whoever lived! You owe me something. ”
- ―Stuart Zurgo [GC]
Throughout his encounters with the Ratchet, Zurgo loathed the Lombax with a great passion, but the reasons for this hate varied dramatically throughout his life.
Originally, Zurgo saw Ratchet as an enemy for shaming Captain Qwark, who he idolized greatly because he was the "greatest" superhero the universe ever had, going so far as to attempt to kill Ratchet over it. When it became apparent to Zurgo that he wouldn't be able to kill Ratchet, he demanded that Ratchet give him something for his actions against his idol. Zurgo later made a deal with Ratchet that would allow Ratchet to escape his "debt" from Zurgo by giving Zurgo some sort of Qwark merchandise, in return, Zurgo would give Ratchet an Armor Magnetizer.
When Zurgo encountered Ratchet years later, he once again loathed Ratchet and wished to kill him. However, he hated Ratchet for teaming up with Captain Qwark, who he now viewed as a traitor following the numerous scandals he had been involved in.
- A bonus feature in the extras menu, titled "A Day at the Insomniac Museum" refers to him as Walter rather than Stuart Zurgo.
- If the "Actors have oversized craniums" cheat is activated in "Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando" Zurgo will have his head, torso and arms enlarged instead of just his head. This is possibly to make him resemble Captain Qwark
- Zurgo has references to multiple characters on his outfit, his helmet resembles Ratchet, his Mech resembles Qwark, and his clothing resembles the clothes Nefarious wore as an organic.
- When he revealed himself to Qwark and the others, Qwark mentioned that Zurgo wrote some pretty disturbing fanfiction. This is further evidence of Zurgo's mental instability.
- Zurgo has eight references to online memes and speech:
- During the fight with Zurgo, if you use the Groovitron Glove on him he will dance in the style of the music video to Gangnam Style.
- When he first uses his shield, he says "Like a boss."
- After he hacked the ship he made the ship play the "I Am Glad, 'Cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home", often referred to as "Trololo", repeatedly so that he could irritate the Q-Force.
- He uses the term "Leet" (usually seen as "1337").
- He once called Qwark an "epic fail."
- He once said "LOL," which is an Internet slang meaning "Laughing Out Loudly."
- He said that he "trolls" people online while confronting his forces at the Grummelnet Plasma Harvester.
- When he revealed himself to be The Plumber, he called Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark "noobs," which is an Internet slang term for somebody who is inexperienced at something.
- Insomniac Games never revealed that Zurgo was the main villain of Full Frontal Assault before it was released, although they were giving fans some clues, stating that a mysterious villain is actually a "familiar face from Ratchet and Clank's past" planning a "nasty surprise for Qwark." Despite wanting to keep it as a secret, SCEP (Sony Computer Entertainment Poland) revealed Zurgo's name and later his face was shown in a Russian trailer for the game, making Insomniac's puzzle much easier to solve.
- Ratchet & Clank: Going Commando (first appearance)
- Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal
- Ratchet & Clank: Full Frontal Assault
Notes and references
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RO14FX7qkao&feature=relmfu
- ↑ Ratchet & Clank: Full Frontal Assault Metropolis Map Reveal
- ↑ Ratchet & Clank: Full Frontal Assault Debut Trailer
- ↑ "Ratchet & Clank: Full Frontal Assault Adds a Tower-Defense Twist" PlayStation Blog
- ↑ "Kryszak, Malajkat i Gonciarz w obsadzie gry Ratchet & Clank: Załoga Q" GryOnline.pl
- ↑